A termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"

2008-12-22T22:32:00.001+08:00

Pictures of me showering, butt nekkid!

2008-07-10T22:00:00.014+08:00

Its a habit of mine to read while taking a crap. And today, while doing my business, I got pun-ished. (If you think this pun sucks, you may want to exit this window NOW)

So I was reading this school publication I received a few days ago, taking my time scanning through the articles (it wasn't smooth, if you know what I mean), and it suddenly dawned upon me that I had been pun-ked, by the magazine.

If you feel that I don't make sense up to this point, maybe these pictures will help.

What better way to start your first article than a pun!

Yep because SP students have no heart

What rice? My heart pressure?

Yeah Im thaiing to make sense of this

Yup, and my van's lacking in wheel-power.

And just when I thought the worst was over,

Combo! All in one article! And look! A repeat!

The puns were so bad it gave a new meaning to verbal diarrhea. That plus brown watery diarrhea, and you know today's really not your day.

On a separate issue, I feel I should make a statement against the ERP hike, and addition of new gantries too.

EET SUXXXXX!!!!!!!!!!!!

As if paying for petrol for that gas guzzling van I drive is not enough, now they double the rates and add new operation hours to beyond congested times WTF!!!

On another separate issue, ISP's deadline's getting closer, and I haven't really done shit. This indifferent attitude of mine's really getting to me, and its not only schoolwork that's affected.

This's probably the reason why if I could choose a superpower, I'd definitely choose time manipulation.

On yet another issue, I feel like I'll have a pretty bland rest-of-the-year, and the only thing I'm slightly more looking forward to would be the holidays. And even then I wouldn't know what to do with everyone else starting school or still in NS. AIYO SO SIAN.

Guess I really have to start getting proactive or I'm really gonna waste this supposed prime of my life!

2008-06-14T21:08:00.007+08:00

What a day.

Truly an underdog story worthy of a movie. SP SIFE Team beat all 3 universities and 3 other polytechnics including 4-year-reigning champs SMU to get into the SIFE World Cup!

Pity they decided to hold it in Asia this year, and double pity they chose Singapore. Last year's was held at freaking New York!!!!

WOOHOO SP SIFE FTW!!!!

Hope we appear in the papers!

2008-06-13T10:30:00.004+08:00

During a random recollection of the past few days just now while having breakfast, I realized that I made a geek joke yesterday.

Intended to transfer some files over to my thumbdrive from another team member

Friend: OK pass me your thumbdrive I'll save the files inside
Me: But my thumbdrive is very troublesome one.
Friend: But I thought thumbdrives are all plug and play?
Me: Not mine. Mine's plug, install, restart and play.
Everybody: *patronising laughter (or genuine ones I'm not sure, they're from sciences)

Wah and I found out it costs $31.50 to take a cab home from SP with midnight charges.

2008-06-11T00:56:00.002+08:00

Holy shit. I think something's wrong with me. I wake up at 5 am for no apparent reason and can't fall back asleep. And when I finally do it's almost time to wake up. More disturbing is my loss of appetite I couldn't even finish a plate of fried rice for lunch today.

Gut feeling tells me it’s overexerting my body mainly due to the sudden interest in badminton. Have been playing at least twice a week and maybe all the lard I've gathered this 2 years is finally finding a way out of my system so in a sense its good news to me.

Woohoo but it’s been great this hols although it sucked having to conduct surveys with Singaporeans at Orchard Road. Caught a couple of movies with great company but shit I haven't done any work so maybe I should try to get myself started.

And since I still can't sleep despite the fact that I've got a meeting in school tomorrow (or rather later) I'll talk about something that has been subtly disturbing me for quite some time.

Its the advertisement for a certain fried chicken fast food chain student meal.

Most people don’t even give it a second glance, but the image of a schoolboy (presumably in secondary school) doing the hand-over-mouth-cause-i've-been-a-naughty-boy giggle and giving a come-spank-me look to the teacher who's giving the my-lovely-students-do-the-darndest-thing look back to the boy appears anything but appetising to me. And to add insult to injury, the reason for flirting is a math equation that doesn’t even make sense. Based on my impression it goes something like:

X + X = KFC STUDENT MEAL!

I can already imagine what their competitors might do to promote their student meals in the future.

Picture the same blackboard with teacher and student setting, but instead, on the board it writes:

E = MCdonalds student meal!

OK that’s all I could think of but you get my point

Damn I'm still not tired enough to sleep.

2008-04-27T23:11:00.003+08:00

If only all children stories were like this.

The One Little Wolf and the Big Bad Mafia Pigs
by Joe Dafro (ZTB)

The One Little Wolf and the Big Bad Mafia Pigs is an autobiography written by former Mafia informant Joe Dafro describing his life in the New York underworld and rewritten in the form of the classic fairy tale The Three Little Pigs.

Prologue

The Little Wolf was strolling down the sidewalk, humming and singing in tune with the little birds and animals that so conveniently donned the hyperbolic happy scene. All was right with the world and best of all; The Little Wolf was going to bring a basket of goodies to his old granny in the Happy Meadows Retirement Home. Little did The Little Wolf know, all this good was about to change. Most decent parents teach their children to not go walking in the woods alone, all by yourself - but, The Little Wolf, unfortunately, was taught otherwise. His parents had always said, “Oh, son, its fine! You’re at the top of the Food Chain, remember?” and, “Now, Wolfie, what did I say to you about doing your homework? Go outside, and walk around in the uncharted wilderness.” Yes, very tragic. For, you see, The Little Wolf was a very harmless creature. He wasn’t a nerd by any means, of course, what with his chess tournament trophies and cleanest pocket protector awards. Why, he was a regular stud! But it wasn’t until today, that The Little Wolf’s real ability was tested.

Ch 1 The Beginning

While The Little Wolf was walking down the cheerful lane, a trio of miscreants waited in the distant bushes, waiting for a gullible geek or hobo to walk down with some cool shit to steal. This day they were lucky; they had found a mixture of both! Six bleary eyes watched the Little Wolf as he came closer and closer. With ease, the Big Bad Pigs pounced out of the bushes right in front of The Little Wolf. One said, “Gives us all yur monies!” The other, better educated pig said in a gentlemanly fashion, “I do say, old bean, it would be a terrible shame if you weren’t so kind to give us your wallet. If you don’t hand it over, we might resort to violence and all manner of unrealishable activities, eh wot?” The final and more level-headed of the Big Bad Pigs said, “Look, buddy, just give us what’s in the basket and no one gets hurt, alright?” The Little Wolf stared blankly at the pigs for a moment before replying awkwardly, “I’m sorry I can’t let you take what’s in here, it’s for my granny.” The British-bent pig said, “Aww! Well, ain’t that just the cutest bloody bloomin’ thing you ever have seen?” All three of the Pigs burst out in scorning laughter, not noticing the sly smile that spread across the wolf’s face. Then the first Pig said, “Be seriously, either give us that basket or we’ll make you give it to us, The Boss really said he needed it.” “Vinne, you moron! We weren’t supposed to talk about The Boss!” said the last Pig. The second Pig said, “Oh, dear. It seems we have said too much and now we need to ruff him up. Nothing personal, old chum, but we really must hurt you now.” The Pigs Drew closer to the Little Wolf, who the whole time was gripping something inside the basket. The Pigs drew pistols and began to draw even closer. The Little Wolf then quickly pulled out a smoke grenade and AK-47 and started to reign down upon The Pigs with a barrage of bullets. The Pigs ran off, screaming as they went: “You watch out! Now the mob is after you! The Boss is gonna take care of you!” and with that, The Pigs Vanished into the foliage.

Ch 2 Searching out The Pig Mafia

A few uninterrupted hours later, The Little Wolf had successfully delivered the basket of goodies to his granny and was on a computer researching the Pig Mafia. It turned out, he found that The Pig Mafia was actually a very notorious crime group that had plagued the innocent little animals of the town of Happy Meadows for a many years. He also found out that it was run by Billy Francisco Jebbadiah Wilkenhiemer van Jhenson, otherwise know as "Zed" or “The Boss”. Billy was about to give up researching when he saw a final line at the bottom of the page that said: “Questions or comments? Visit the Pig Mafia homepage at www.pigmafia.crimeorg or e-mail The Boss at BFJWvJhenson@secretcrimegroupsandrunescape.net ” This was obviously a lead. The Little Wolf clicked the link to the Pig Mafia homepage, which simultaneously took him to his desired destination and unleashed untold amounts of spam and computer viruses upon the innocent little public library computer. Billy quickly jotted down the address of the Pig Mafia’s Secret Hideout and left to hunt down the rapscallions who so dearly wished to ruin his perfect day. The Little Wolf decided to wait until midnight to infiltrate the Pig Mafia hideout simply for the sake of dramatic effect. When the town clock struck twelve, the Little Wolf picked the lock to the hideout and was inside. He crept down a hallway, sneaky as a silent fart, and found the door to The Boss’s office. While he was attempting to pick the lock to the door, it was thrust opened. The Little Wolf found himself staring into the angry face of the Boss.

Ch 3 Face-Off with The Boss

The Boss smoothly said, “I’ve been expecting you, little wolf.” “How do you know my name?!” asked The Little Wolf in a flabbergasted manner. The Boss replied, “I don’t, I just say that to everyone who comes to my door, who the heck are you?” “I,” said the Little Wolf, “am Archibald P. Wolf, and you sent your goons after me this morning. I’m here to kick you butt for ruining my perfect day!” “oh, is that so? Well, I won’t be coming quietly. You’ll have to duel me!!!” And, without further ado, they sprang at each other. The duel was on! The Boss quickly flipped out a rune skimmy, easily popping an eleven on The Little Wolf. Wolfie countered with a Spartan Laser attack and a bubble shield. Not one to be thwarted by such a simple adversary, The Boss started vigorously screaming the “Dora the Explorer” theme song and flailing his arms around wildly. The Little Wolf was so startled by this, that he jumped and hit the incandescent light fixture on the ceiling, causing an inconveniently placed bottle of gasoline to explode and render them both unconscious.

Ch 4 Forgiveness and First Aid

When The Little Wolf woke up, he was face up in a hospital bed, next to The Boss. They realized that they couldn’t attack each other, so they exchanged injuring glances and painful words like “poopy-sniffer” and “monkey-slapper”. When they became tired of the fruitless exercise, they both softened up and The Boss said, “I guess I’m kinda sorry that I sent hit men to rob and kill you.” “It’s okay,” said The Little Wolf, “I’m kinda sorry that I tried to hunt you down and kill you over the fact that you ruined my day.” “Friends?” asked The Boss. “Friends,” said The Little Wolf. And they both awkwardly tried to shake hands but were foiled by the fact that they were in full-body casts. Everything was happy, the town of Happy Meadows was free from a menace and Wolfie had finally made a friend. All was right with the world…until- haha, just kidding, the story’s over, I had you scared that there was more didn’t I?

THE END

Credits to Uncyclopedia and the brilliant guy who wrote the story
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Big_Bad_Wolf

2008-01-20T22:15:00.001+08:00

Don't know why the exams always inspire me to post new entries, but it just makes me feel like writing something other than exam notes, so here I am.

Ever had the experience of making a mental note to yourself how you will not try a particular food ever again because you don't like it, but somehow, you'll just go eat it again just to remind you how much it sucks?

This happened to me today. I was out, and just had some noodles, so I thought maybe I could get a desert. Or a drink. Or both.

And so in the end I went to McDonald's to get a chocolate milkshake. And tagging along with this idea to get the milkshake, was the impression that sometime ago, I bought it and couldn't finish it because I didn't really like it and was kinda sweet, not to mention the fact that I read somewhere that McMilkshakes aren't the healthiest milk-based products around. (Something about them not using real milk at all, but anyway I should stop criticizing McDonald's anymore here, in case they decide to sue me)

Then there was this voice inside my head telling me to try it again, telling me that maybe I had a wrong impression of the beverage the last time. Needless to say I bought it.

But as I went past half the cup, I began to make the same mental note reminding myself not to buy it in the future again. And I guess this vicious cycle will carry on until the product is discontinued, or something like that.

In another unrelated incident, just now as I was just surfing YouTube, I saw a guy I'm sure I'll never want to mess with.

I think he can follow the links from YouTube right to this blog, so I shall not say much. I'll just keep any criticisms (or comments) to myself, in the unlikely case that he decides to move over here to Israel and personally chop

Ok the thought of that is freaking me out so I will not go on thinking about what he'll do when he do find me. Right here in Israel.

(Yeah so what if I don't really live in Israel, I wouldn't want to risk him REALLY coming over to Canada to murder me for what I just said)

The inspiration to write a new post just subsided. Will try to update cause it's pretty enjoyable. Till next time.

2007-08-29T21:09:00.000+08:00

Super Mario Live (IMBA)

And why you shouldn't fall asleep at a football game

2007-08-26T12:01:00.000+08:00

I can't believe it. Exams are over!!!

To commemorate the hojiber days of doing mindless memorizing of notes for the sole purpose of regurgitation during examinations, here's a post to show you the ever-classic handwriting degeneration syndrome (as noted by Kavee).

Chapter 1: Got off to a great start

Chapter 2: Still good

Chapter 3: First sign of frustration

Chapter 4: Disorientation sets in

Chapter ?: Pwned

And as a form of encouragement to my friends who are still studying,

Gupped from Jer's blog.

To top it off,

On behalf of poly kidz.

2007-08-16T23:51:00.000+08:00

Holy shit!

Dora, my little explorer friend, asked me to help her with a crossword puzzle, and I'm stumped!

Can you help me with it?

Gosh, it's hard isn't it!

Screw exams.

2007-07-30T23:44:00.000+08:00

Presenting....

My virgin gig!

Qing Tian - "Deng dao feng qing de na tian ye xu wo hui bi jiao BYEBYE"

Move Along intro (just the intro because we didn't really know how to play the whole song haha)
It Ends Tonight
I Will Survive

And POP pics from dick's Flickr
http://www.flickr.com/photos/8109822@N07/
Including handy tips on how to take pictures with OSOS kidz.

Tip 1: When trying to take a picture for an OSOS kid, count to 3 but press the button at 1. Never mind that the person whom picture you're trying to take isn't ready with his/her pose; at least you get a picture of the whole face.

Tip 2: OSOS kids pose with weird handsigns that don't mean anything.

Tip 3:When taking a picture with any OSOS kids in the area, take the picture against a wall. (Notice the weird handsigns in the 2nd photo from the kids at the back again)

Tip 4: When you want no extra faces in the picture, get Keong to be in it (Nah Keong you know I'm just kidding)

Tip 5: If the mountain doesnt come to Ali, Ali goes to the mountain. (Ah Hong Ge's the mountain in case you don't get it)

OSOS still stayin' strong. Damn we're cool.

2007-07-26T23:23:00.000+08:00

Some people just never learn:

Oh, but I realized this time round the sender's a female.

Damn I'm tired.

2007-07-12T21:09:00.000+08:00

I was checking my school email account when I came across this particular mail:

The sender appears to be a guy, so my assumption is that either he's sexist, or is a closet prankster.

Anyway, this morning I woke up at 10.30, so I obviously missed the 9 a.m. class. The next lesson was at 12, but I didn't really feel like going, so I took my time and went to White Sands for brunch.

I walked the whole mall but couldn't decide on what to eat. I wanted something filling, but didn't want rice or noodles. Somehow I eventually decided on a McLunch.

Having watched 'Super Size Me', I was aware of the danger of McFries, and because of that, I wanted to eat as little fries I could. In the end I decided on a Fillet-O-Fish student's meal plus a Double Cheeseburger.

The aunty behind the counter took my order, and the food was promptly served.

Aunty: $7.60 please
Me:??!! Wah price increase ah?
Aunty: Ya la GST increase mah.

I've heard that student's meal had a price increase. But this much?! I thought the increase was only 2% more?! Where got increase so much one?! (An identical meal bought at McDonalds 2 weeks ago would only cost $6.60)

Having already exceeded my $7/day budget (I'm really broke now) on one single meal made me so sad that I was practically sulking as I consumed the tray of poison I just bought for $7.60.

This shit costs $7.60

Throughout the meal, I was imagining this in my head:

You just got ripped off, sucker, and there aint nothing you could do about it HAHAHA high five!

I seriously think that us consumers are really getting exploited by all the goods and service providers with this GST increase. Everywhere I see price increase of more than 2% and I it's really unfair when these companies use this as an excuse to gain more profit.

But this GST hike isn't all bad. At least now I've got another reason why I won't eat at McDonalds.

2007-06-13T11:37:00.000+08:00

After one month of not updating, I felt obliged to at least post something up here, so as not to disappoint my biggest fan, who consecutively left 3 messages on the tagboard despite knowing that noone reads them anyway.

And so, recently, there was news of a certain monkey (no, I mean the real simian monkey) running amok in the Pasir Ris vicinity.

Mum told me that my sis had an encounter with the monkey while she was cycling at the park. When my sis left the bike (my bike!!) to get a drink, apparently the monkey clung onto the handlebar, and when my sis returned, the monkey refused to leave, and instead made that fierce monkey face (oooh oxymoron) at my sis and her friends.

On a side note, no wonder now my bike smells of banana.

So the natural question to ask was, what happened next. Mum told me that my sis and her friends did not know what to do, until one of them started praying, and woohoo, the monkey left.

I seriously have no comments on that.

Mum proceeded on telling me about how I should avoid walking to the MRT station for the next few weeks, and take the bus instead, because you'll never know when you'll see The Monkey.

And if you thought that was the paranoid part, it's not. It was later that night, while I was on the computer, when my mum came into the room.

Me: Whats up?
Mum: Oh, I wanted to check if your windows are closed
Me: Why?
Mum: The monkey might climb into your room

It may still sound perfectly logical up till this point, but consider the following:

1: Mr Monkey was spotted INSIDE Pasir Ris Park

2: I live on the tenth storey

What are the odds of a cute little simian going out of the way to leave comfort of the park, do a Spider-Mankey to climb 10 storeys up, and open MY window to have a chance at the 2 red bananas (don't ask me why they are red, I didn't buy them) that I saw in the kitchen?

Unless it has something to do with The Red Bananas.

Maybe the banana has some special powers, perhaps, perhaps, after eating the banana, one would become the

BANANAS IN PAJAMAS!!

NO WONDER THERE'S TWO OF THEM!! AHHHHH!!

At this point I realized how idiotic I was making myself look by including the above 3 sentences in this post, but for the sake of entertaining you, and to keep you occupied by giving you a chance for you to think of how to mock me with regards to those 3 sentences, therefore enriching your pitiful life, I decided to include them anyway.

Till next time.

P.S.1 I went to the kitchen with the intention of taking pictures of The Red Bananas to put on this post, but they're gone!!!! ZOMG!!!
P.S.2 Jay, Kay and Fay Merlin got owned.

2007-05-12T23:31:00.000+08:00

Here’s how my day went

Woke up naturally (by that I mean not by the alarm clock)
Late breakfast
Played some PS2
Lunch
Re-watched some Crayon Shinchan VCDs (which reminded me Carmen still has some of mine)
Watched The Simpsons Season 1 borrowed from school library
Slept
Woke up
Attempted to blog but was feeling super nua
Went for late dinner
And tada now I'm here typing this entry.

I realized that I could have done up this post just by using the above contents and adding a few adjectives and adverbs, something like this:

Wahahaha woke up today at 1130 am soooo shiok first time in so long that I can sleep and not get disturbed by the irritating alarm clock. Had bread and tea for breakfast and I was sooooo full. Then went to play PS2 after sooo long. Got some new games from huawei and was quite interesting. The game shadow of the colossus was kinda cool blah blah blah

P.S. words in italics are adjectives and adverbs

I thought that it would be too unethical to bombard you with pointless information on how my day went, so let's talk about something more significant.

The thing about today was the sense of guilt that struck me the moment I woke up at around 8.30 p.m.

The reason for this sense of guilt is simple. Most of you supposedly busy people would NEVER ever spend a perfect Saturday like this doing nothing at all. But I did, and it felt damn good.

Then the next thing that came into my mind was wondering why I was feeling guilty over something that made me happy.

I was very confused.

But now I think I have come up with a good reason why I should not be feeling guilty over the things I did (or the lack of it) today. And no, its not self-consolation.

Say if I were to say that I felt guilty over not doing anything today. Inevitably, some of you would get the idea that I am a workaholic, or at least I hate/fear/despise having time spent not doing anything (which in my opinion is the definition of being a workaholic, but some might argue, so yeah).

Being labeled as a workaholic is never a good thing. People would be using every chance to take advantage of your supposed love for work and fear of being laid back, and the stuff you have to do would never end. Sure you could finish your work quickly, but people would be asking for your favor with theirs just as quickly.

And this never ending flow of stuff to do would definitely deprive me of a chance of another day spent like today, which was definitely pleasurable to me. To sum it up, I would be making myself lose the chance to do something that I enjoy, which is pretty stupid.

So now you’re probably wondering: did I really enjoy my day or is this just some kind of one man conspiracy so that I will have less stuff to do. Sure, it would kill the idea of the remaining few people who still thinks that I love to do work, but I really am feeling kinda wonderful right now. Heck, I can even see the flowers blooming and hear the birds chirping in my room.

For those of you who are thinking that this post is just an excuse for really having nothing to do, heres 2 words: I WISH. There’s some research and a script to do for school projects, not to mention some SJAB stuff at hand. These things (yeah, THINGS) are calling for my attention at the back of my mind, and they sure are irritating, but they can wait. I’m not gonna let them ruin my so far wonderful Saturday. (Although I believe I wouldn't have the time nor motivation to do it tomorrow because its Mothers' Day, and someone said I was more excited than my mother, which is kinda true, but never mind, things will definitely work out)

For those who are stuffing your life with stuff to do, heed my advice, take a break. You’ll never know the wonders it does to you until you try it. REALLY!

Man, life is good.

2007-04-25T21:41:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered what’s the most eco-unfriendly food in the world?

I found out the answer today.

It's actually something that we see very frequently in our fridge.

OK, maybe it's not someTHING, but you can probably categorize these foods into one category.

They are the bite-sized fruits/chocolate/cookies/munchies

Still, it's not that simple. These foods have to meet some very special requirements.

Firstly, they must not last for more than the duration for you to walk out of the kitchen in your mouth. So those ‘hard sweets’ are out of the picture (hard sweets as in Werther’s Original VS Big White Rabbit Milk Candy kinda hard)

Then of course, it has to taste good enough for you to want to get that second and consecutive piece(s).

There MUST also be a resisting factor for you to avoid eating too much of that food (e.g. bite-sized pineapples because they are sticky and you have to wash your hands every time you grab a piece from the fridge, or bite-sized chocolate because they are expensive/unhealthy/not yours)

Another requirement would be that there must be sufficient pieces of that food for you to retrieve it so many times that it actually REALLY harms the environment.

So here's a real life example of what I call the I-am-killing-mother-earth-because-I-am-gay syndrome (yeah I know it’s totally unrelated)

You just finished your dinner at home, and opens the top compartment of the fridge (freezer) hoping to see a tub of Ben and Jerry's sitting in the freezer waiting for you to eat it.

No Ben and Jerry's, but wait, you see a tub of Marigold's Neapolitan Ice Cream placed on top of the packet of frozen meat that mum bought. You thought to yourself, "Hell man, Marigold ice cream will do just fine, I just want something to cold and sweet to eat after dinner", and proceeds to open the tub.

To your horror, you find that there ain't no ice cream in the tub, all that's in are just more frozen meat that mum had put in the freezer. Devastated, you place the ice cream tubful of meat back.

You scan the freezer once more, hoping that your eyes had failed you and there was indeed a tub of ice cream tucked at some corner of the freezer.

No ice cream.

By then, you have already left the freezer door open for 20 seconds, and it would have used up quite some energy to keep the freezer at freezing temperature. The damage doesn’t end here yet.

So, you gave up looking for that after-meal craving.

Or so you thought.

Instinctively, you open the middle compartment of the fridge, but at this time you no longer hold any hope of getting any good stuff to eat. To your surprise, you see nicely cut up pieces of bite-sized pineapples that grandpa bought the other day. Someone had kindly skinned the pineapple, sliced it and placed it nicely into a bowl so that everyone can eat them.

You haven't got over the fact that your mum tricked you into thinking that the tub of meat was ice cream, but you popped a piece of the pineapple into your mouth anyway. You closed the fridge door and walked to the sink to rinse away the sticky pineapple juice, all the while chewing on that sweet and juicy piece of pineapple.

"Mmm, nice", you thought to yourself, as you attempted to make your way out of the kitchen.

You chew the juices dry of that piece of pineapple, and finally swallowed it. It tasted so good that you turned around and walked back to get another piece.

So you walked back to the fridge, took another piece and dumped it into your mouth. Then as you chew, you proceeded on to wash your hand AGAIN to rid your fingers of the sticky juice. You then attempted leave the kitchen again.

"Damn, its good"

So you walk back to the fridge, open it, take a piece of your delicious bite-sized pineapple, put it in your mouth, wash your hands while chewing, leave the kitchen, and then the urge to get just ONE LAST PIECE creeps in again. This vicious cycle repeats.

Till a point that you take out the whole plate and finish what's remaining of it while watching TV.

You put up with the aftermath of what you have done (e.g. an upset stomach for eating ONE WHOLE pineapple cut into bite size so that you don’t realize how much you have ate), and also endure an insult to your intelligence as a human being.

And not forgetting the harm that you have done to the environment.

It may seem trivial, but have you thought of the amount of energy you've wasted by repeatedly opening the fridge door, and the amount of water you've wasted with washing your fingers for so many times?

The scariest part however, is that it only takes 2 minutes to do all these damage.

You have been warned. Spread this message of saving the Earth to your family (especially those who are taking care of the stuff in the fridge).

Do your part for a better tomorrow.

Do it right, do it now.

OMG I'm disgusted by the corniness of this post.

2007-04-08T10:35:00.000+08:00

How to play the Pangseh Game:

1) Go to any shopping centre with a large group of people
2) Start plotting on who you'd want to pangseh, make sure you don't get double crossed
3) START PANGSEHING!!!

Tips on how to be a better pangsehire (pronounced pangsai)
1) NEVER walk in front of the group
2) Always be alert for who's talking general nonsense to you while leading you away from the group
3) Hold your bladder; saying that you need to go to the toilet is equal to saying "Pangseh me!"
4) Wear your shoes and take your bags with you when pangsehing people
5) Never close your eyes for more than 1 minute even when playing a game, especially when you hear giggles around you
6) Take lifts at your own risk

This game sounds like a game of betrayal, but I can never imagine playing this game with anyone else other than my squad kids, because I trust that I'd never REALLY get pangsehed at say, Tampines Mall while the rest of the people goes to Suntec, and also because anyone else would probably get pissed and not understand the fun of it because its essentially a very boliao game.

So here's my warning: PLAY ONLY WITH CLOSE FRIENDS

Now you know what people are doing when you see them running around in shopping centres like idiots. Have fun!

2007-04-04T09:20:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered, if you could have any one dream fulfilled, what would it be?

I'm not sure about you, but I sure did spend some time thinking about it.

The first thought that came to mind was to receive a huge amount of money, i.e. $10 million or something around that line, so that I could buy most of the things I want and save up the rest so starting a business wouldn't be so difficult in the future. But then I thought, money probably isn't the most important thing, so I threw the thought away.

The next thing that came to mind was World Peace (I swear). The world would definitely be a better place without all the jihads and counter-jihads and violence and discrimination, and finally everyone on Earth could live in peace and harmony. However, I thought to myself, could humans, being such greedy creatures, ever understand the concept of peace, or would they just start breeding all the traits that we try so hard to eliminate once the wish (my wish!) was granted? And this lead my thought to thinking that the only way to achieve world peace would be to make all human beings disappear from the face of Earth, and by doing that essentially I would be wishing to make MYSELF cease existing! Not a very nice thought indeed.

And of course, the little fish-seller in me also reminded me that even if world peace was granted and I did not disappear, I probably would still be living my life as it is now, and there would be no improvements at all, not even an addition of an electronic drum set in my room.

Then there's immortality. That's plain dumb.

I've always thought that I am a very unlucky person. I seldom win lucky draws, lucky things rarely happens to me blah blah blah. So I thought, maybe I could wish for the best luck in the world. Imagine this, with the best luck in the world, I could live on winning lotteries, and probably get most of the things I want in the world (first wish fulfilled), and I would never be hit by bird shit or killer litter or get killed by terrorists. But then I thought to myself, life would be meaningless if everything was so easy. So cannot la.

Then I imagined what a person with the purest mind would wish for. And I can't thing of anyone else with a pure mind except for a kid. And if you grant a kid a wish, they'd probably wish for something along the line of a hug from mummy, or milk. Sure I could wish for milk, and then get labelled "moron" or "the guy who wished for milk" for the rest of my life.

My thoughts then suddenly jumped to the wishlist that I made several posts ago. I could wish for a drum set. After 2 seconds I gave it up, reason being I'd be label something like "the guy who wished for an effing drum set" and then get assassinated by a tycoon who has a terminal disease. (you can go figure why)

Suddenly this thought sprang to my mind. I've got at least 5 other possible wishes that I could write about but I was getting bored typing this entry. So ima just have to conclude it here.

Among all the wishes above, I suddenly feel that the first one on receiving alot of money seems to be the best, and here's why:

1. It wouldn't make me disappear
2. I could do alot of things with that money
3. Life would still be challenging, the money would only be a boost
4. It's not stupid

And so should I meet a genie today, you most likely know what I would wish for. And one conclusion, wishes are very mafan.

Now, what's YOUR wish?

2007-03-29T22:23:00.000+08:00

I was typing a mail for this Saturday's Flag Day when I realized that I had mistyped it as Fag Day instead in one of the sentence.

Which made me remember the countless times I typed the word "Sex" when I actually wanted "Hey" in my sms. (because keypad 4 for "h" is right above 7 for "s", and I use the dictionary function when I type my sms)

Imagine seeing an sms that goes like this:

Sex where you? I reach already

So kids, remember to check through your message before sending them out!

Anyway, today I saw the most emo 9-year-old that I have ever seen in my life.

This little boy (who cannot be named as he is a minor) was fighting with a classmate. Obviously I had to stop the fight. I kinda reprimanded them for fighting, and then the little rascal (oops) just stomped out of the classroom and sat down at the space between the locker and the door and cried.

Yeah I know this aint emo enough. But read on.

After awhile, he got over it and went back to class. Then after awhile, he cried again.

Reason being: someone called him a crybaby (oh the irony)

Then he stomped out of the classroom again, and sat down at his nice little corner and started weeping like the pokemon master he was. Of course I had to do something, so I went over and talked to him, and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Can you tell me what happened?
LR: sobs
Me: If you don't tell me I cannot do anything
LR: sobs
Me: Do you want to go back to class?

Then it came, the one sentence that (sort of) made my day

LR (still crying): I WANNA GO STAND IN THE RAIN. STAND IN THE RAIN AND FALL SICK SO I DON'T HAVE TO COME TO SCHOOL TOMORROW

I bit my lips, not because I was touched or anything, but anything less painful would have made me laugh my ass off. (You really have to be there to understand the funniness of this kinda sentence coming outta a 9-year-old's mouth)

But of course you never laugh at an emo kid in front of him, so I regained my composure, and just waited there with him so that he does not really go in the rain and fall sick and make his parents complain and make me lose my $65/day job.

But seriously, kids nowadays are really damn hard to handle. Made me wonder what kinda parent I would be in the future, and whether my kid would become like the LR I saw today.

I hope not.

Yeah I know it's still kinda early to think about this, but sex, we're all gonna be parents one day.

2007-03-27T23:47:00.000+08:00

KY's Picture of the Day

Taken at bicycle park (if that's what you call it) beside Pasir Ris MRT Station

reverse parking. 'nuff said

2007-03-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

Today, I was bored.

It was when I came across this site

http://www.pointlesssites.com/

It looked interesting.

And then it happened.

I did the unthinkable.

I went on a quest.

A quest to find out which was the pointlessiest of them all (and to kill time).

And I found it.

http://www.dave-reed.com/Nifty/randSeq.html

The one pointless site that rules them all.

It was genius.

How could someone even think about creating something as boliao as that.

However, I was sure.

Sure that somewhere out there, there lurks an even more pointless site, waiting to be discovered by (bored) hunters like yours faithfully.

And the quest to find the one website (and to kill time) continues...

Stay tuned.

P.S. if you managed to read this post up till this very sentence, you're probably bored as well. Go, get yourself something meaningful to do. If not, I welcome you to join my quest, young one.

2007-03-22T09:28:00.000+08:00

Looking at other people's wish lists made me want to make one for myself, so here it is:

- Yamaha Electronic Drumset $1300
- PS3 $900
- 20 inch LCD TV $700
- IKEA 2 seat sofa $200

You can see that these things are well beyond my reach, but that's the reason why it's called a WISHlist and not a IMABUYITTMRlist.

My birthday is on 16th May.

2007-03-19T12:32:00.000+08:00

Just found this picture while clearing my computer files

the physics lab practical chicken

This probably explains why I was never considered a good student haha

And an artpiece done to cover Wangmo's anti-japanese sentiments which was shown on a card (it was a picture of a crossed japanese flag, the cross ended up as the cockroach legs)

i call this the roach approach

And i soon realized that i took ALOT of pictures with my 6230

Lesson time at 4E'05 (some call it nap time)

vip seats during chinese remedial

weird antics from Chairperson Wang

i miss the good old days

CNY at LPL's

droopy

The SC's (student councillors) approach of getting outta school after playing too much ball

no rulez (its WKK btw)

And of course there's comp train

gay pride (pribe)(inside joke)

The first bird that landed in the SJ room (i think)

neil birdstrong

We do the gayest stuff during comp trains (you can call it twittish)

no prize for guessing who's black sneakers are those

kristian slamet, black in heart, black on shoes

Birthdays were costly affairs

the cake costs $2.80 (look at how excited engene is) (sorry i meant eUgene)

2 cakes cost $5.60

And there were truly special moments (look how they try to hold hands oh-so-discreetly)

the forbidden love

against all odds

There were warriors amongst us

rocKY balboa

The date detectives before operation Iceburp at Pasir Ris Park on teachers day

agent 002

agent oo4

agent 004 in another disguise

who's this handsome chap

Its great knowing your squadmates

some of the perks that comes with it

like those who helped you train so that you can go win trophies while they only get our gratitude

thanks dudes

and they have no qualms about showing you their other side (junxiang)

then there's lots and lots of inside jokes (coco wong kin keong)

and i was talking about showing your truest side (it's a guy)(no its not keong)

you also get to know people who continues to win singing competition and becomes famous later in life

One Squad One Spirit is still so cool

Wow what a long post, and this really made me realize how meaningful the years in DHS were. Cool.

But yes, I've finally blogged.

2007-01-03T19:55:00.001+08:00

Where do you find giant snails? On the ends of giant's fingers.

Which president was least guilty? Lincoln. He is in a cent.

2007-01-01T23:07:00.000+08:00

Hey hey guess who's back!!

Had a damn eventful december: jnco camp, bachelor party'06, seniors' initiation, new year countdown. And because of all that, now i have a big problem (a problem that has existed long before December, but wasn't as bad), and that big problem is

This

killer eyebags

I know you can sense the uncanny similarity between my eyes and his

And yes I'm indeed very flattered by that, but I think I would be better off without them.

Therefore, I shall announce the commencement of Projectz Eyebagz Nomorez (P.E.N.)

Here's how it's gonna work: Everyday I will sleep whenever I want to, and I will have full authority to miss any event that I want to miss so that I can sleep. I know this is gonna make me a sorang, but I guess a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Another thing, I BOUGHT A DAMN SICK PHONE!!!!

Presenting the Nokia N80 Internet Edition!!!!!!!

This phone's got everything that you will need (although it's abit laggy) but the functions that come with it is totally worth it! And now I really have nothing else to blog about too! How boring!

Nevermind, shall put up some photos I took with my ownz phonez

Seniors' Initiation

Bachelor Party 2007 @ Orchard

Oh yeah, and one last thing. JNCO admin suxXxxX it totalleh ownz mah a$$

Till next time bye!

2006-11-07T12:18:00.000+08:00

A String Walks Into a Bar
A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here."
The string walks away a little upset and sits down with his friends.
A few minutes later he goes back to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender, looking a little exasperated, says, "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here."
So the string goes back to his table. Then he gets an idea. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair.
Then he walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?"
And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

2006-10-08T20:10:00.000+08:00

adrianaline

2006-09-05T13:33:00.001+08:00

How apt

You get the joke right?

2006-09-05T10:53:00.000+08:00

Wah just came back from Pulau Hantu sailing expedition held from 2-3 September. The wind was so light we were all drifting backwards from our destination, and we all had to be towed by the power boats.

The path we took

Luckily it was pretty fun at Hantu. Played some games like the giant twister and the one where you form a line in the water and to pass your teammate through the line. Field cooking was bad though. Was totally chaotic and I think I had luncheon meat for the majority of that dinner.

Then comes the cool part. I slept in the laser pico!!! It wasn't that comfortable but was cool anyway. The wind was so strong the sail was flapping damn noisily, and that probably explained why I couldn't manage to get much sleep (think the squeaking mouse helped with that too). Then there was something that kept on stinging my leg. I just brushed it off, thinking that it was the salt because I didn't wash myself properly. It was when morning came that i realized that the stinging sensations were from the ants that found their ways onto the boat!!! Heres some pictures taken on the island (with my cool 6230 VGA camera nonetheless)

Taken from the laser pico

Morning

Attempted to sleep here, but was afraid would roll down into the water

The jetty

I slept on the left one

The lagoon

Bed (slept at the right side)

Luckily I went for the trip. I was quite hesitant to wake up on saturday morning, super tired because got work on friday.

And the trip back I got to sail a laser!!! But I was towed for the majority of the trip. At the last part got to do light wind sailing though.

Although the trip wasn't really SUPER fun, it was very memorable i guess. Count me in for the next expedition!!!

2006-08-11T00:05:00.000+08:00

Presenting the newest masterpiece!

I spent 1 whole day on this sia. Mai siao siao.

2006-08-05T17:11:00.000+08:00

IM BACK!!!

I just reread my previous post, and noticed alot of grammatical errors. But hey, that's what
happen to you when you haven't written much for 5 months.

I can't believe I wrote something like that, even reading it now gives me
goosebumps! I also can't believe that I am at my FORTH blog post! WOOHOO!

School's great. Learnt loads of cool stuff, especially photoshop. Let me show you some of my work.

Cool right?

Wah exams are coming soon, and for the FIRST time in my life I'm very very motivated to study for them. And so i realized that when you do badly at something, you tend to hate it, and refuse to have more things to do with it. Just look at my time in DHS and you'll understand. Its a vicious cycle.

By the way, anyone knows about what happened to the cats at Sunplaza Park? They seemed to have disappeared. Haha i used to cycle there and buy the $2 canned cat food to feed them, and now they all disappeared! Anyway here's some pictures of them.

There used to be ALOT of them and I would place handfuls of catfood along the white concrete and they would all rush for the food. Then I would try to karchiao them and see their reaction. But now when i cycle past there I can't even smell the cat shit (btw i don't deliberately smell cat shit), so its very weird!!!

I'm feel that I'm living such an uneventful life. Boring...

That's all for now, gotta go out for dinner now. Bye!

2006-04-10T22:06:00.000+08:00

Yo.

This entry is to show that i still update my blog, and is specially dedicated to a half gay half les half man half woman with a 10mbps internet connection.

Yours sincerely,
Eureka

2006-03-05T11:26:00.000+08:00

Hi. Guess this's gonna be my first SERIOUS blog. The rest of the blogs i created didn't last for more 5 minutes - I got bored of them immediately. Anyway I was at blogger trying to get the blog address as www.kianyong.blogspot.com, but it seems that someone took it quite recently. Go take a look at that blog. Very interesting.

I think I've ran out of things to blog about.. (damn) So I'll just have to stop here.

Bye!